We moved to Cedar Rapids in the spring of 2008. In a rush to find a place in our price range that could fit our family of five, we settled for a house on 42nd street. We liked our new house with a connected one stall garage, but there was one drawback, the traffic. Behind the house, there was a wrap-around driveway to an extra two stall garage. We felt that we could manage the busyness of the street if we could just use the long driveway to turn our vehicles around so we didn't have to back up into the thick traffic. We were thankful we had found a home in less than a month's time since we had to move out of our sold house in Washburn, Iowa.
The winter had been unusually heavy in snow fall across the state that year, so when the spring thaw began heavy flooding occurred all over Iowa along the Cedar River and also the Mississippi. Heavily engrossed in my life as a new resident and young mom I didn’t realize the dangerous flood warnings that started to be reported upstream from us.
“We have to go soon,” I said to two-year-old Lydia, as she was digging through the bag I had just packed to find her favorite stuffed animal.
“Lydia, no! put that back! We have to go.” I said exasperated but she just looked at me with her thumb in her mouth as she twirled her hair.
Finally after an hour of coercing I managed to load, buckle, and sippy cup each of the children, while also managing to load the suitcases for our trip into the green van. This was our good vehicle and I was proud to be able to drive it instead of the little blue car. Unfortunately that day I was feeling very stressed and distracted by the howling children in the back. So when I backed up the van behind the house to face the street, ready to pull out into traffic, I didn’t realize I was too close to the siding of the attached one stall garage. That is until I heard the loud scraping noise as I tried to pass it.
All of a sudden the children were quiet as I nervously whispered, “Oh no, Oh no, Oh no!”
Knowing that the flood waters were rising made my heart beat out of my chest. Quickly I jumped out of the driver's side to assess the damage. A large scratch ran the side of the van from the sliding side door to the right bumper. Unable to handle the damage I called Brad on my pink Motorola RAZR flip phone. Trying to sound calm I said, “Hi Brad, promise to not get mad?”
Hearing the tension in my voice Brad slowly responded, “Its ok Dianne, what happened I promise I won’t get mad.”
In a flurry of tears I told him the embarrassing truth, I hit the side of the garage as I was pulling out of the driveway. The result was a big scratch on the side of the van. As I finished my confession I waited for the impending reproach I deserved. But instead Brad said quietly, “We will take care of it, don’t worry, just come pick me up and be safe.”
Calming down I pulled out of the driveway unto the street heading in the direction of the church. Turning on the radio to reports of water levels rising made it hard not to speed. Finally I pulled up to the church, to see my husband come out to meet me. Seeing the side of the van caused him to wince, filling me with shame. I got out of the drivers side to hear his assessment of the damage I had done. Fresh tears sprung to my eyes, as Brad put his hand on my shoulder.
“Dianne its ok. We can buff it out,” he said reassuringly, but I didn’t believe him. The deep scratches looked like I tried to take out the side of the house on purpose.
He drove us out of Cedar Rapids through heavy traffic as many other panicked people were trying to get out before the flood waters washed over the down town bridges. As we passed the Iowa city exits I finally started to catch my breath. How did I do such a stupid thing? And why did Brad not give me what I deserved? How many times had I unleashed my fury on him for something less trivial or expensive to repair? Looking behind me at the three quieted little darlings in their car seats buckled up munching on baggies of cheerios, I felt surprised by grace.
How did I get this far in life? How did I chose a husband that would love me so gently in my most flakey moments? How did I get three healthy children to sit quietly on the most stressful afternoon I had all week. Taking a deep breath, I allowed the raw reality to settle in. I was deeply blessed.
We got married in 1998 when I was 20 years-old, and he was 22. We had no savings yet we went to school full time paying our tuition as we went. Somehow we got through the last two years of school without having to drop out due to financial inability.
In 2001 we moved to Waterloo, Iowa because Brad got a job as a Youth Pastor. After six months we bought a house and started our family with a baby boy name Isaiah. In the years to follow Elaina and Lydia soon were added to the family, our quiver was full. As I looked at my little ones in the green van as we were driving at 70 miles per hour away from the flood, the miracle of it all again became real.
Then I remembered how at 16 years-old I just decided one Sunday morning, with a hangover, to go to church with my mom. That one Sunday changed the course of my life. Who would I be if I had hit the snooze and refused to go so many years ago, instead I have been surprised by grace.
Many times in my life when I have been treated better than I deserved I have sat stunned. In a world that is always moving in a hasty rush it is hard to take a moment to count your blessings, but on that van ride to Indiana, I felt overwhelmed. I decided that day, I want to allow grace to spill out of me towards others, so they too can can be surprised by grace.
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