I cleaned out the cupboard under the island in my kitchen. It was over flowing with Tupperware lids. I had put off cleaning the cluttered space for months. On a quiet Saturday after two cups of coffee I was finally motivated to pull it all out.
This is a secret mess. Do you have any of those? This year when I had my small group over this was the place that random plastic things were thrown five minutes before people arrived. On the surface of the counters everything looked clean and wiped down, but I hoped and prayed no one would accidentally open up the cupboard under the island.
Sitting on the kitchen floor with dozens of lids I tried to match them up to their proper containers. After an hour I sat exhausted. How can cleaning out a cupboard be so draining? If I am honest it was taxing because I was dragging out all the stuff I didn't want to look at. I could have gone months longer before tackling the project, because I hate all those lids.
Sometimes I think this is how I act in the rest of my life. Their are issues that I don't want to look at so I throw them in a cupboard where they settle in the dark space until I wish to confront them. All kinds of things get flung into that out of sight place until I start to notice I am upset.
What is wrong with me? I hear myself say.
Could it be that I have stuffed one too many things I don't want to deal with right now in the cupboard? I tell myself I'm fine until they all start toppling over.
Right now with the COVID-19 scare and riots breaking out everywhere I am feeling the build up, are you? I want peace, I want quiet, but right now the world is crying out, Wake up!
So I am looking into that cupboard where I cast aside the things I don't want to face to face the truth. Our nation is changing. Some of the change is needed and some of it is devastating. I hate to think of my friends without jobs. I hate to think of what school will look like for my kids. I am trying to figure out what justice looks like in this nation.
I don't have the answer but I am not going to stuff away the questions that are arising as I watch the news, as I hear of the out cry and see the violence.
This is a secret mess. Do you have any of those? This year when I had my small group over this was the place that random plastic things were thrown five minutes before people arrived. On the surface of the counters everything looked clean and wiped down, but I hoped and prayed no one would accidentally open up the cupboard under the island.
Sitting on the kitchen floor with dozens of lids I tried to match them up to their proper containers. After an hour I sat exhausted. How can cleaning out a cupboard be so draining? If I am honest it was taxing because I was dragging out all the stuff I didn't want to look at. I could have gone months longer before tackling the project, because I hate all those lids.
Sometimes I think this is how I act in the rest of my life. Their are issues that I don't want to look at so I throw them in a cupboard where they settle in the dark space until I wish to confront them. All kinds of things get flung into that out of sight place until I start to notice I am upset.
What is wrong with me? I hear myself say.
Could it be that I have stuffed one too many things I don't want to deal with right now in the cupboard? I tell myself I'm fine until they all start toppling over.
Right now with the COVID-19 scare and riots breaking out everywhere I am feeling the build up, are you? I want peace, I want quiet, but right now the world is crying out, Wake up!
So I am looking into that cupboard where I cast aside the things I don't want to face to face the truth. Our nation is changing. Some of the change is needed and some of it is devastating. I hate to think of my friends without jobs. I hate to think of what school will look like for my kids. I am trying to figure out what justice looks like in this nation.
I don't have the answer but I am not going to stuff away the questions that are arising as I watch the news, as I hear of the out cry and see the violence.
In times like these I go back to the roots of my faith. For faith is the act of looking up. It is acknowledging the God who is higher than the situation. It is the act of worship in the midst of the storm. I personally believe that Jesus Christ was a real person who was both Son of God and Son of man. I believe He died on a cross to cancel the weight of sin. I believe that when I received him as my Lord and Savior that He transformed my life. I believe he continues to transform my life every day. But more than anything I believe he hears me when I pray.
Yesterday was a rough day. I would have liked to hide not only the lids in the cupboard but my entire self. But God is giving me courage to reach out and ask for prayer. Standing with a dear friend yesterday in the quiet of the afternoon crying out to God changed my perspective. I felt the Lord lean into our hearts and capture our tears. My despair turned to praise as I began to unload all of the clutter in my heart as my friend stood with me.
I have no answers for the tumultuous season we are all facing right now, but I can say that God is not far off. He isn't watching from a distance but he is leaning in closer than a brother. When we decide to open up the hidden vulnerable places to the Savior He will come in with His Spirit of peace.
I find my present stage of motherhood hard. To raise teenagers into young adults is bewildering, but God is good. In the midst of the storm when I do the opposite of what I feel. When I praise when I would rather hide or tune out I see his glory shine through the darkness. I have hope that though my children are not perfect they are going to make it through the messy years. I believe that my prayers for them matter even when they seem to go unanswered. God hears us. God sees us. God is moving even now.
What ever you are facing right now I hope you are strengthened to believe that you are not alone in this world. I hope you know that I too have things I wish to keep hidden, but like me I hope you are able to take the courage to give those hidden things to God.
If you come to my house I know you will see little messes. I don't want to have them but it seems I can't keep on top of the chaos that family life brings. I have a false belief that everyone else can and I am some how less than. The struggle is real, do you face that?
Regardless, I am sick of being a prisoner of fear, so if you need prayer I am here for you. I offer a willingness to pray through the messes of life, but be forewarned I too have a messy cupboard.
I pray that out of His glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:16-19
SO GOOD and true and vulnerable. This is good work, friend. Much love.
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