Climbing the steps of the high diving board and walking slowly to the edge. Looking over the end to rippling blue water below. Not sure if I want to jump, but seeing my friends watching knowing I can’t possibly turn back.
Waiting backstage in high heels and matching dress trying to remember all the words to the song I was about to sing. As my heart beat pounded not only in my chest but in my ears I heard my name announced as the next act in the talent show. The surge of nerves made me want to turn back until I heard the cheers.
Stepping out of my van to get a few groceries at Walmart my attention was suddenly shifted from the small list I held in my hand. Near the entrance, the couple stood. Hearing the irate young man leaning into the face of his girlfriend as he exploded with profanities made me feel alarmed. As she tried to walk away he reached out his hand to pull her back into his verbal onslaught. “Hey that isn’t right,” I thought. Should I speak up? Out of the corner of my eye from another row of cars, I saw her. A middle-aged woman walking with conviction toward the abusive scene. My feet turned to follow her.
“Hey! Hey! You can’t talk to her like that!” we yelled out from different points in the parking lot as the cowardly boyfriend quickly departed leaving the young shaken woman suddenly alone.
Fidgeting with my hands as I sat in my best friend’s room on her desk chair I watched. My “boyfriend” a senior and friend of her older brother sat down on the bed. I had continued to go out with him because everyone else thought we looked cute together and I was a mere freshman. With a shaky voice, I asked, “Do you really like me for me? Or just for my body?”
He got up and left the room. He never spoke to me again.
Risky moments, life is cluttered with them, but what gives us the courage to follow through when we are scared? What helps us to speak up when we see an injustice? On television, in novels, or on Facebook it seems so easy to be bold, but in real life, it is rarely that simple.
Life is full of tests, trials, and terrain we walk into with a certain amount of expectations, limits, and ideals. As a young person I wanted to be accepted more than anything, but I always heard my mother’s wise words going through my mind when I was tempted to do something stupid. Now I still want people to like me, but I also want to live truthfully and honestly enough to avoid some of the traps I fell for in the past.
If you find yourself frustrated by arriving at the same situation over and over again. Maybe the scenery and people have changed but you find that your response is the same. Maybe it’s time to ask yourself: What am I doing to contribute to this situation?
Risky moments can transform into turning points of freedom when we determine why we are doing something. When I decided that I wanted to jump off the high dive because it was fun, I enjoyed it more. When I stepped on the stage to sing I realized that each time I became a little less nervous. When I took a stand against the bully at Walmart I found out that women can do a lot when we stand together to help one another. When I finally stood up to the nominal high school boyfriend I found my own boundaries and gained self-respect.
I think another key component is leaning into the positive voices in our lives. Those who help us to step out of fear and into faith. I realize that I am limited in my natural courage, but when I hear other people’s stories of stepping out in faith it helps me to become bolder.
When I later found Christ as my Savior that helped me to not just try to be good, or meet goals, but to explore why God had made me. What he had intended for me to do with my life. I can’t tell you a 100% of that calling because it hasn’t completely unfolded for me yet. Still, I am learning to trust him with every step.
All I know is that as much as I want a comfortable life there is a part of me that longs for the high-dive. I have a desire to step out from backstage into the spotlight of my dreams. I want to help others no longer be victimized. I want to be disciplined to live a life with the right boundaries so that I can run unhindered after God.
No matter how many mistakes have riddled our lives, there is hope. Right now, today. Let us not stop listening to the right voices in our lives. The ones that just want the best for us with nothing in return. Let us not stop listening to the dreams floating our heads. Perhaps it is time to unplug from media, put on our tennis shoes and get moving.
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