There is power in the name of Jesus to… break every chain. In my life, I have one very meaningful gift in the work that I do and that is to see chains broken.
I will not try to sugar coat stories because life is tough and sometimes things don’t work out like a Christian movie with happy tears and cheesy self-disclosure lines. No, in life many of us have heavy chains pulling us down, keeping us from true peace in life.
I think the story of chain breaking would have to start with me. I didn’t know how bound I was until I started going to church again at the age of 16. My eyes became open to the ugly thoughts and destructive habits.
I started my rededicated walk with God by becoming a great rule follower and outward behavior corrector, but my heart was still full of conflict. I am so thankful for my zany and energetic friend Amy who had a way of making me feel like I belonged no matter what.
One late spring day she invited me to take a horseback ride with her out in the country. I am afraid of big animals, horses included, but I didn’t want her to know that. After all, “God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power love and a sound mind.” So we mounted the horses. Being a horse lover she led the way confidently while I took deep breaths and nervously but bravely said, “Way to go girl!” to the horse.
I thought in that moment I will pretend to be confident. Pretending had been something I had grown very accustomed to. As the trail lead to the lonely country road, I felt my anxiety increase as I thought of the cars that could pass us. What if the horse got spooked? “Nice little horsey,” I called out.
Soon a group of cars passed us and with each one I cussed loudly. Embarrassed I apologized to my Christian friend. She just laughed all the harder. In frustration, I tried to reign in my fear, but low and behold another car passed and another foul word escaped my lips. I felt doomed to failure on this horse.
When we got back to her house I felt so dejected because the broken Dianne had risen to the surface on that horseback ride, but Amy continued to just laugh. In that moment of self-condemnation, I saw the grace of God. In her loving face, I saw that I still had a place in her friendship and I still had a place in God’s kingdom even when the ugly bled out for all to see. In that moment a chain fell off. Though I didn’t hear its plummet to the ground I felt the freedom of its absence.
I learned that day that I could be accepted by God and his people not just when I did everything right and exemplified Christian character impeccably. Living a perfect life was impossible then and now. And I venture to say, that to whoever is reading this blog, it is also impossible for you. No, I learned that day that when fear kicks up an ugly thing lurking in my heart that I thought was gone, or that I strained to keep well-hidden it is not for my condemnation that it is revealed. When those foul words started to erupt it was for me to see a greater need for my Savior. He is the only one that can break the chains.
I hate it that even today when I am given to fear or under tremendous strain a foul word will come to the surface. Sometimes it will spill out in the van as I am driving, or erupt as I am trying to handle a crisis. Just like the seventeen-year-old girl on horseback I feel defeated and mortified. In confusion, I wonder how I still could be chained to that ugly old habit. And then I picture the loving face of my friend Amy accepting me despite my fault.
Grace is a gift that is unmerited, freely given, and undeserved. It comes in that moment of failure when I again open my heart to the Lord. His grace flows over my faults and washes me clean again. I am not perfect but I am changed by the grace of God in those moments of surrender. His grace breaks the chains.
You are a chain breaker.
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