We're OPEN

     

     It was mid morning by the time I rolled up my sleeves to write. Ughh... It has been a long time since I have dared to post my thoughts. I don't know how big my audience is and to be honest I don't want to think about those details.

     Its just been too long since I took up my brush to paint the thoughts simmering inside. In a vague phrase I could simply state, a lot has happened, but that is uninteresting. Truth be told I am starting over again. I think I have said that over a dozen times, and I have attempted to start over repeatedly. But this time (sigh) "Dianne, dog gone it! I mean it."

     Have you ever felt stuck? Have you ever found yourself walking around the same bush thinking that you are moving forward only to find yourself circling the same issue? Bingo, that's where I have been for awhile now.

     One thing I know is I love writing. I don't do it enough, because I love it so much. I think it selfish to let myself just sit down and spill my heart out in all kinds of colorful splatters of words like paint. I wonder if the picture I form looks like anything at all or if it is just a childish image too common to even take time to read.

     At this point, I guess I can't care as much about that. I just have to go for it again. It seems on my Fortieth birthday I shut down shop. Its been two years and I haven't flipped the sign to Open yet. In some ways I felt like I died, and someone much less vibrant took residence of my life. I guess you could call that Depression. What ever, I am just sick of being shut down and out of order.

     Announcement...(Clearing throat) I am open for business. I don't know for sure if I am serious but I sure want to be. This world is missing my paint brush and my words so there! I am turning on the lights and I'm flipping the sign around. I am going to try again.

    Have you felt shut down? Unable to open up? Are you a creative that has succumbed to the mind numbing monotony of life? Will you wake up with me? I know there is a dream still rattling around in that heart of yours. I can almost see the glimmer in your eyes. Let's dream together. I can't promise that we won't give up before we have seen the dream through to the end, but at least we can try.

    As I spend a day looking at my old backyard I am allowing myself to really look. I have spent too much time regretting the past instead of looking at how good it really was. I miss the goodness, but I believe that new good things are awaiting me if I will just get up.

     It had been a long time since I had tried to write,  to breathe on the page. But I decided it was time and now here I am. We're OPEN, so come on in.