Grace In the Canned Goods

    It was a frosty February morning. The Cupboards were low, thankfully Brad had just got paid. It was time to go grocery shopping. Fareway, was our favorite, because of their old fashioned service. No matter what time of year, a worker would push the cart out to my van and hand load all the groceries into my trunk.

    After gathering, herding, and buckling in my four year old, Isaiah, My two year old, Elaina, and my new born, Lydia, I fell into the driver’s seat, to just breathe for a moment.  In the rear view mirror Isaiah was looking at the baby.

“Mommy baby Lydie smells funny”

    Glancing at the lit green numbers on the van clock, I realized the baby would be getting hungry soon.

“If we don’t go to the store now, honey, we may never go today.” I said with an edge to my voice.

     Listening for her cry and looking at her little searching hands poking out of the rear facing car seat, I hoped that she would hang on for a while. Elaina, in the meantime, was fussing with her child restraints. Luckily, I had a baggie of cheerios to hand her. With a fist full of cheerios she calmed down. I backed up the van. I pulled out of the little town of Washburn, population 300 to drive 10 miles to Waterloo. For the moment, all three of my little ones sat calmly. I secretly prayed the grocery adventure would be tame today.

    Upon arrival, I started unloading the children from the van. I held Lydia in her newborn car seat hooked through my left arm. I held Elaina’s hand firmly with my right hand, but she was squirming. With a combination of only my right arm and right leg I scooped her up onto my hip. Now without either arm free I looked down at my purse laying on the ground of the snow packed parking lot.

“Bubby, will your carry Mommy’s purse?” I asked.

     Breathing heavy as we inched closer to the store’s automatic doors, we finally arrived. Crossing the threshold, it seemed as if everyone stopped to stare at us. A condemning feeling crept into my mind.

 “Oh no, she is here with her little ragamuffins.”

    Pulling out a cart, with Elaina still on my hip and the baby’s car seat still hooked in the crook of my arm, I took a deep breath. I had made it this far. Quickly I placed the car seat in the cart and flipped down the little red seat for Elaina to sit facing me. Taking my purse, I ordered Isaiah to walk right next to me. With a sigh, I took out my shopping list.

“Mmmm! Mmmm!” Lydia’s infant voice started to fuss. This grocery run would have to be on the short side.

“Shhh! Baby Lydie!” Elaina said, trying to lean over the back of her seat. 

    With my hand on her little hips to keep her from capsizing, she turned back looking up at me with her big brown eyes and fly away blond curls. With such looks she could steal my heart in a moment.

“Mommy, can I have these cookies?” Isaiah asked holding up a package of Oreos. 

“No Bubby, Oreos are not on the list.” I said firmly.

“But I want Oreos!” his voice quivered. “Ahhh!” he cried.

Elaina joined in, “Cookies! Cookies! Cookies!”

     In the same moment Lydia’s little face started to scrunch up. My little clan suddenly sounded like a car alarm. Sad to say, we were only in the Breakfast aisle, we had 7 more aisles to go. Frantically studying my list, I tried to simplify… I need two packets of dry Ranch Seasoning in aisle 3!

    As I briskly pushed my cart, I noticed too late, that Elaina was too close to the shelf. Before I could react she knocked down a jar of pickles. The smashed and puddled dill pickles rolled Olympic lengths from the crash site.

“Uh oh, Mommy!” Isaiah said studying my face.

  Elaina had covered her eyes with her little hands, “I… sorry Mommy!”

     Lydia started to cry the “get me out of this seat” wail! Luckily, a worker walked by to witness the catastrophe. Muttering about a broom, he disappeared. As I was waiting for help to return, a lovely tall blond mother passed me. In her cart her son, about Isaiah’s age, sat quietly reading a picture book. Did I hear Angels singing as she passed by? My gaze followed her. Did a dove just come and rest on her shoulder?  

No that was a marshmallow.

“Elaina, no you can’t open the Marshmallows! Please stop throwing them right now! We haven’t bought them yet!” I tried to say patiently. 

     Lydia was getting hot, big tears fell down her cheeks. Knowing she wouldn’t calm down, I took her out of the car seat. A yellow mustard like stain appeared on my arm from her soiled diaper. In that moment I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be a calm mother like the one that had walked by.

After the pickles were cleaned up, and I had picked up as many marshmallows as I could with my one free hand, I hid the bag under the car seat from Elaina.  She was bouncing in her seat from the instant sugar high.  I took in a deep breath. I had no idea that motherhood could be this hard!

Finally we got to aisle 9. The cart was full, as I pushed it with my hips and steered it one handed while still holding Lydia. On my list all I needed now was:

2 cans- red kidney beans

1 can- black beans

2 cans- white hominy

1 can- diced tomatoes

    As I reached for the diced tomatoes, I noticed another hand reaching. It was the blond lady. I didn’t want to make eye contact with her because I was sure she saw the mustard colored stain, and probably knew about the Marshmallows. Much to my chagrin she stopped to look directly at me.

“Hi there, I just want you to know I noticed you earlier, and I think you need to know that you are a great mother. Three little ones can’t be easy.” She said touching her protruding stomach.

     I smiled and thanked her, and as she walked on continuing down her grocery list, I stared in shock. I would have thought she would have told me to shut my kids up, or recommend a parenting book. I felt hope surge through my body, and patience for my kids renewed. I had misjudged her, but her words set me free. Instead of condemnation she gave me grace right there in the canned goods.