D.I.Y. Disaster

   

   This morning Judah was happily playing with what he calls his "Green Hulk" homemade slime. I was making cinnamon rolls and the dough was rising nicely. I was just thinking, today is going to be a great day. I could hear the birds singing outside in the sunny spring morning.  Judah's worried voice broke my reverie as he called out from on top of the table where he was playing.

"Mommy, Mommy!"

     And that's when I saw it. The whole glob of slime worked into the roots of his hair on the top of his head. As I looked at it I tried not to panic, but it wasn't good. Judah was fussing and patting his head. Brad came in and laughed at the ridiculous situation, and snapped a picture which I did not enjoy in the moment.

      When I think about Slime I am reminded of my favorite childhood television show on Nickelodeon, You Can't do that on Television. On the show if the characters said, "I don't know," they would get bright green gloppy slime poured on their heads. I looked forward to tuning in every school day at four PM. I would sit down with a heaping bowl of Ramen Noodles to watch in anticipation.

        Later slime reappeared in the popular kids game show hosted by Marc Summers, Double Dare. Again I watched amazed by the contestants that would volunteer to get slimed. Two teams would compete by answering trivia questions to win prizes while completing slimy challenges. My brothers and I gathered around the television to cheer.

       Slime disappeared for awhile after that. But it made a reappearance with Flarp. The little jar of slime that made rude sounds when you put your finger in it. My kids were easily entertained by this dollar store treasure. But slime had received the highest acclaim with YouTube's  D.I.Y slime making videos. All you needed was Elmer's glue, Borax, water and food coloring and you could make your very own slime.

        It didn't take long to find out that slime though inexpensive to make and a source of entertainment for hours on end, had a down side. It was notorious for ruining clothes and furniture. After the rise in its popularity came the ever louder grumble from parents world wide who had to figure out how to get the crafty gunk out of their children's clothes and off of every household item.

       I was never fond of the stuff, but now that my three older children are out of the slime making stage I thought why not try it with Judah. Am I brain dead? Didn't I already learn that Slime was a very BAD idea? I am an eternal optimist so I thought, this time will be different.

       Note to self and anyone else who is still reading...

Never say, "THIS TIME WILL BE DIFFERENT.

This is self-delusion at its finest.

     I quickly pulled out some peanut butter and tried to tackle the slime, but the problem was bigger than the old gum in the hair situation. This was more like ten packs of chewed Bubble Gum  pounded into the scalp by repeated somersaults. The hair ball looked almost impossible to get out without clippers.

    My second attempt at eradicating Judah's hair of the nasty substance was to use White vinegar. Earlier, I had used it to dissolve the green slime from his training pants. I poured little cap fulls on the fine hair sticking out of the gunk. I put down the fine toothed comb that was only torturing the tender scalp of my beloved little guy. He was screaming and I found my own voice elevated as Brad ran for a towel to wipe off the vinegar pouring down Judah's little back.

     We quickly moved the removal operation to the master bathroom tub. I shouted instructions as I tried to wash off the melted slime from my hands in the sink next to the bath.

    Brad stripped to shorts, got in the tub with him. I was trying to pour more white vinegar on the dissolving green mass but Judah was trying to claw his way out of the tub like a puppy getting his first bath. He continued to cry and both Brad and I were also on the verge. Thankfully the quantity of gunk stuck in the hair was getting smaller as the vinegar melted the plasticity of the mixture into something like very thick glue. Then I washed his hair.

   Judah has never enjoyed getting water on his head so this experience was more than he could take. As Brad tried to cover his eyes with a wash rag I doused Judah's head with water. After the first shampoo only a little green slime held onto the roots. I poured the last of the vinegar on and rubbed the slime to cream until I could re-shampoo and wash it out completely.

    I am proud to report, we got it all! In Judah's words the lesson was clear.

"Mommy I don't like slime in my hair!"

    Judah recovered quickly after a little time in his Daddy's arms. But I still felt traumatized so I had to write this down so that my own Mama heart could heal.

    Everyday is filled with the unexpected moments of upheaval. Today my secret weapon was white vinegar. Who knows what special tool I will need tomorrow. In matters of faith, we don't know what each day will hold, but if we hold onto hope there is always a silver lining to be found even in the slimiest of situations.